A Ride to Reality
I’m on a plane heading to New York for the first part of this journey to India. While I’m in town I’ll be teaching and saying goodbye to my family. The former is always a joy for me and will give me a chance to get grounded before the 16-hour flight to Mumbai. The latter will be more difficult. Two and a half years ago my father was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Although I travel for work, I have always managed to arrange my schedule to be a fairly quick plane ride to their home in northern New Jersey. Not being as available to my family will be challenging, but this opportunity to go to India and work with YouthAIDS is truly a dream come true for me. To be able to experience, observe, and work alongside an organization completely dedicated to preventing the spread of HIV is an opportunity that I feel so blessed to participate in.
The intention of this blog is to invite you on this journey to India with me. I’d like you experience through me this incredible country, it’s people and politics, and how the AIDS pandemic has affected the culture. I’ll share what is being done to educate and heal the population from this devastating, yet preventable, disease.
Before I get into the various work that I will be doing in India with YouthAIDS, I feel it’s important you understand how it is that I came to be involved with YouthAIDS:
In 1999 I applied to teach yoga at a shelter in Van Nuys called Children of the Night. This non-profit shelter is the only organization in Northern America that focuses its energy on educating and rehabilitating adolescent prostitutes. My job was to teach yoga and meditation to boys and girls between the ages of 11-17. Although these children have suffered extreme trauma as they have been severely sexually and emotionally abused and have all gone through the prison system, I felt confident that I could approach them with empathy and understanding—rather than sympathy or judgment.
What a journey that was for me. I was so naïve then, thinking I could walk into a room of teenagers and teach them skills that could transform their lives in the same way my life was changed through yoga. They did what many teenagers do, high risk or not: They challenged, questioned, argued and ignored! I learned quickly that life on the street exposed these children to rape, violence, unwanted pregnancy, abandonment, desperation, loneliness, drug abuse and sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS. They were distrustful, mouthy and often disrespectful. I had hoped that through yoga they could begin to develop a safe and intimate relationship with their bodies. I had hoped that getting them to breathe would give them an opportunity to relax or even experience peace of mind. I had hoped I could provide spiritual insights that would inspire and uplift their consciousness. Instead, they would rebel by laughing and goofing off, completely uninterested in what I was suggesting to them. Some days I would leave the shelter after a particular futile attempt at teaching yoga and cry at my inability to reach and connect to them. How arrogant of me to believe that I could walk into their lives and with a few breathing and moving techniques and change their nature and circumstance, yet I continued showing up, again and again . . .
Then one day, months later, I walked through the door, anticipating the eye rolls and distain that I was normally greeted with, when one young girl jumped out of her chair, ran to me, and threw her arms around my waist, hugging me with a level of intensity that was almost overwhelming. This young girl had been on the street since she was 12. Her parents turned her out when she was younger than that to help pay for their drug habit. She had dozens of small, sharp scars down each arm from cutting herself, the survival skill she developed as a way to disconnect from the emotional pain. These small, raw gashes competed with the various gang tattoos and burn marks that also littered her skin. She was also HIV positive. I returned her embrace with equal enthusiasm. When I unpeeled her from me, I looked up to notice a few of the other girls standing in a line waiting for their hug. I eagerly obliged! After that, I would need to arrive ten minutes early to allocate ’hug time,’ as it became a ritual for all the children. This was a big deal, because these children were not used to being touched, or touching, in an intimate, but non-sexual way. It meant that somehow the kids trusted me.
I realized that what was going to transform these young people was not necessarily the asanas, or the breathing techniques, or the mantras. What was opening their broken and betrayed hearts to me was the same thing that can open all hearts—love. Just by showing up and sharing time and energy with them, they began to feel recognized and cared for. Just by being present to them, they became present to me. Just by seeing the light in them, they reflected that same divinity back. A mighty yoga began happening to all of us. We began playing, relating, visualizing and connecting. We shared our stories and spoke out loud our truths without shame, realizing that we were all more alike than different. I even managed to get them to practice asana without complaining! Personally, I experienced a yoga that was more profound then any advanced pose I have ever attempted. I learned the power of giving, and that it is compassion that heals, truth that reaches, and love that transforms. Those children changed me. They taught me levels of commitment, humility, and patience that I was incapable of prior to meeting them. Just when I wanted to run, I learned to wait. Just when I wanted to control, I learned to surrender. Just when I wanted to fight, I learned how to serve. Being of service to them, holding a space of genuine concern and care became my yoga practice, and set the course of a new direction in my life.
Comments
Thank you so much for sharing your trip to India in this blog. I began my home practice of yoga because of your dvds. After more than 20 years of chronic pain, I am totally pain free, thanks to the journey that began the first time I heard you say that the pose need not be perfect to be YOUR pose. Keep practicing, you will get this, you said, and that's become kind of my back-up auxiliary mantra. Thanks! Keep writing!
Jane in MA
Posted by: jane | March 13, 2007 09:04 PM
What a sad, yet, beautiful story. It brought tears to my eyes.
Posted by: Margie | March 13, 2007 09:17 PM
Wow! That first young child's hug must have filled you with so much joy, at finally having been able to make a connection with all of those children. You're quite something, Seane!
Posted by: Kirit | March 13, 2007 09:19 PM
Thank you Seane. Thank you for your patience, persistence, kindness and compassion with these children, and thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Posted by: Alison Donley | March 13, 2007 09:53 PM
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with these children. Such a moving story. It touched me deeply.
Sat Nam,
Juliet
Posted by: Juliet | March 13, 2007 10:25 PM
Thanks for sharing. Your comments help expand people's concept of "Yoga."
Posted by: Dennis Dilday | March 13, 2007 10:41 PM
Interesting story. Reminds me of a saying of my favorite yoga teacher: "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care."
Posted by: Shari Lightstone | March 13, 2007 10:46 PM
"All you need is love". So many children playing it tough. So afraid, so alone. Let us all cotinue to reach out to those so desperate for recognition of their worth. The opportunity is there for each of us every day.
Posted by: bob | March 13, 2007 10:52 PM
Seane, you're the most authentic Yogini I know, and I truly admire all that you continue to do for this world. Thanks for opening up, sharing, and shining so brightly for the rest of us to see.
Posted by: Shayn | March 13, 2007 11:15 PM
God Speed Seane, You are an amazing light and an example of all that is right in this world. Thanks you for being such an amazing teacher.
Posted by: Trish | March 14, 2007 12:30 AM
Hi seane, may love and light be with you on your journey, may the waters of Samsara wash over you. thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Namaste
Cathy
Posted by: cathy | March 14, 2007 12:35 AM
Dear Seane,
As I read this story of your efforts and accomplishments through feelings of anguish I felt like I knew exactly what you went through as I had a similar experience teaching at a rehab center. Your accomplishments, however, outweighed mine as I just couldn't take it and stopped working there. I don't feel bad that I stopped. It's what I needed to do. What I do feel is a great sense of pride that you were able to break through. I know how hard that is and I just want you to know that what you have done for those souls is something that few would do and do with success. I have been to your classes at Estes Park and as I read your words I felt the same strong inspiration that you infuse in me there. The world needs so many more of you.
Posted by: Lori | March 14, 2007 12:43 AM
Seane, what amazing, meaningful, loving connections. Thanks for sharing your experiences and for touching my heart.
Posted by: Kerry | March 14, 2007 02:16 AM
Sean, this is LaTin in Indianapolis,IN., with Cityoga. I am captured knowing that I can have a spiritual communication with you across the waters and lands of the east. You encourage me last year with advice for my community and you still continue to move me. I will follow your blogs while you are on your mission and will equally focus on being serving. Your distant eyes are so very near through the essence of breath!
Posted by: LaTenia-LaTin Caldwell | March 14, 2007 05:00 AM
Thank You Seane for sharing your story and experiences. You've been a wonderful inspiration to me and to many others as well. Thank you for caring for "our" children. Thank you for making a difference!! I'm looking forward to hearing about your journey to India.
Love, light and blessings to you!
Namaste, Michele
Posted by: Michele Ramsay | March 14, 2007 05:55 AM
Thank you so much for taking this journey and sharing it with us, Seane.
May it all inspire us to reach out and love.
We'll be breathing you every step of the way.
Posted by: Laurence | March 14, 2007 09:39 AM
Seane,
as a new mom, your beautiful story moved me to tears. i couldn't imagine the innocence of a child facing such challenges at an early age. i applaud your courage and outpouring of love. i also wish you peace and light on your journey--the physical and internal one as well.
namaste
Posted by: sara | March 14, 2007 01:43 PM
Namaste. I've worked with a comparable group of sexually exploited children in New England. Your experience echoes my own. There are not enough holistic services for young people who have experienced the trauma of exploitation and not enough understanding about the prevalence of this kind of abuse in US culture. Colleagues and I are planning a youth-led national public awareness on this very issue. VOX Project is the voice for youth silenced by sexual explotiation.trafficking and prostitution.
Posted by: Risa | March 14, 2007 04:14 PM
Seane - thank you for sharing your story and for reminding us what it means to walk the path of a yogi in today's world. It's inspiring.
Posted by: Carin | March 14, 2007 04:21 PM
I have been reading Yoga Journal for a long time and have been moved and inspired by many of the things I've read. None touched me as deeply as your recounting of your experience with the children. I very much look forward to traveling with you.
love to you,
M. White
Posted by: Michael White | March 14, 2007 05:42 PM
Thank you for shining your light in India and the world for us all.
Posted by: Juli J | March 14, 2007 07:21 PM
Seane,
Thank you for sharing your story! I look forward to sharing in your journey as I read your blog entries. You are an inspiration! ...and I look forward to your workshop this summer in Chicago!
Namaste~
Tod
Posted by: Tod Pratt | March 14, 2007 09:28 PM
amazing how things come to us when needed. your words and example to me are very important at the moment. being in brazil for an extended time it came to me that giving and helping in certain areas here is essential. thank you seane for sharing your story which is empowering and encouraging.
Posted by: jessica | March 15, 2007 10:16 AM
I think it is just terrible the way the world is spinning into a downward spiral concerning morals and principals. Yoga to most people with whom I have come in contact with, believe that yoga is comprised of only asanas and breath work. They are completely out of touch with the spiritual aspect. It is the spiritual aspect of yoga that can save ourselves and our souls from suffering. Children on the streets, selling themselves for money is unacceptable, but understandable. What can we do to change this? I do wish that every human alive could have the honour of reading The Yoga Sutra and The Sacred Path of the Warrior, which I am reading myself. If all people could live their lives according to those principals we would not have this all of this unessecary suffering. I have started a sort of "pilgrimage" if you will, by asking the public school which my children attend, to stock Jataka Tales in their library. It is time for change, if we want this world to survive. May peace be with the children.
Namaste,
Julie Brooker
Posted by: Julie Brooker | March 20, 2007 07:52 PM