I am very close with someone who grapples with serious addictions. I have had to create distance from this person in the effort of self-preservation. I have been quickly and brutally introduced to the unbelievably complicated formulae of genetics, childhood history, mental chemistry, and socialization that contribute to addiction (and even that is oversimplifying). I have tried every possible way to convince another person of what they must do, and have failed and finally come to the conclusion that nothing I do or say will change anything. At this I feel both helpless and relieved.

It is a heavy thing to admit powerlessness. I think one of the reasons Alcoholics Anonymous is so successful, aside from the social support it provides, are the 2nd and 3rd Steps of its 12 Step Program:

We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.


This folks, sounds a lot like our friend and niyama Ishvara pranidhana.

The insecurities, shame, regret, and self-hatred perpetuated by addiction make it extremely difficult to love yourself enough to care to change. Belief in a Higher Power puts it into sharper perspective and change becomes possible, hope dawns.

While these steps are aimed at the addict, they speak to me louder and more clear every day. I am not in charge of the universe, and I do not get to decide how people should and should not behave. My preferences have nothing to do with the hills and valleys of another's path. I pray that I can remember this arduous lesson. 

Posted by Katherine Rae at 11:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)