My biggest "Ah ha!" moment during my recent yoga retreat/continuing education for yoga teachers came as I was preparing my practice class. This was the time when I was supposed to cobble together some of the new things I'd learned—games, poses, imagery, stories, metaphors, etc.—to create my own lesson plan and practice teaching it in front of my colleagues. A couple of my new friends had already gotten in front of the class and taken a stab at it. Every few minutes, Leah Kalish, our lovely and talented teacher, would stop the group in our tracks and give guidance—in front of everyone "so we could all learn from it."

This format made me very nervous. My stomach was in knots by the time we took our first break of the day because I knew my turn was coming. I'm insecure when I teach in front of my own small class of beginning students, so the pressure of performing in front of teachers who would know when I mess up was a lot to handle. I walked into the next room and took a really deep breath. I think Leah could tell I was on the verge of having an anxiety attack, so she came over to chat.

I can't remember her exact words, but the gist of it was that she gets nervous too. Leah was a Hollywood actress before she became a yoga teacher. (A google search reveals she had roles in shows like Walker, Texas Ranger and Who's the Boss?) She never got nervous acting in front of the cameras or crowds of people, but the second she got in front of a yoga class it was a different story.

She continued: We put teachers on a pedestal because they've touched us in such a meaningful way. So when we take on the role of teacher, we think we have to live up to that. That's enough pressure to make anyone nervous, and nervous teachers make for awkward yoga classes. But if we can just let go of that expectation, we're able to explore, interact, and grow with our students. This opportunity for exploration and growth is precisely what we want to give to our students. All we have to do as teachers, is embody what we want to teach and the rest will fall into place naturally.

That's when it hit me! The students who have been coming to my classes really are being affected by how I hold myself in class. When my students are a little shy, quiet, and timid it's probably because that's what I portray when I teach. I wondered if I tried to portray something stronger, bolder, and more courageous would they feel more safe to be themselves, too?

When it was my turn, I got in front of my peers to teach. I started with a time in, a short, guided meditation. I led the group in a visualization that came from my heart. I asked my "students" to envision themselves standing on the edge of a diving board,with their toes hanging off the edge. "Feel the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. As you contemplate jumping, watch your friends splashing and playing in the water below. Put your fears out of your mind for just long enough let gravity take you to the pool, you'll be able to join your friends."As I was speaking, I took the plunge too. My butterflies fluttered away, and for the first time I was able to actually be myself (in all my glory) as I led them through a sequence of poses.

When I was done, Leah looked at me and said, "You were that shy kid, weren't you?" In may ways, I still am.