Come Back!
I'm having a crisis. One of my most loyal students has recently been missing my classes. I don't know whether to assume she's had a busy few weeks or go into total panic-mode.
I don't have many students, so I get the know the ones I have really well. I know when they go back to school after their summer break. I know which ones take dance and piano classes. They tell me things in the time before and after class. Most importantly, they usually tell me when they plan to go away on vacation or have other things to do that will hinder them from attending my class. (I appreciate this because it saves me a lot of trauma, wondering if they'll ever come back.)
My rational brain knows that if a student quits coming to my class, it likely isn't because of me. There are a million things going on in people's lives that don't involve me (Take that, Ego!) or yoga. I miss classes with my favorite teachers all the time because I didn't feel like getting out of bed, had too much work to do, had a dentist appointment, forgot my mat at home, or just wasn't in the mood, etc. etc.
So why do I find myself lying awake at night thinking: "Maybe she didn't like the music I played. No, that's not it. She hated the partner poses? No, those were fun! Did I correct her alignment too much? I was just trying to keep her safe! Did I pay more attention to my new students than her?"
Then, I spend a lot of time strategically planning how to lure her back in. "I could call her mom to make sure everything is OK. No, that might be a little too stalker-like. I could email her and let her know how much I miss her. Would that be weird after three weeks? Yes, and would seem way too desperate."
I know I should let it go after one short, sweet email, but this is not an easy task for me. How can I continue to care for my students' well-being and personal development, but avoid getting too attached to them at the same time?
Comments
I too am a novice yoga teacher, and experience some of the same worries. My classes are small also, so when someone doesn't come back, I have to wonder, but life gets in the way of even the most dedicated yogis/yoginis. So I am learning to let it go, and hope that when the time is right they will return. Keep on teaching!
Posted by: Cathy | August 23, 2007 03:06 AM
You could try sending a reminder card or seasonal cards ie Christmas, or hey it's summer! which only remind them your thinking of them, and encourage to give you a call. Dentist do.
Posted by: cherylmacdermid93@msn.com | August 23, 2007 05:51 AM
I have been teaching for a couple of years now and I know what you mean. I just try to let students come and go -- sometimes, because I teach gentle Hatha classes, I suspect they want a more vigorous class, or don't feel like they are "working" hard enough. I encourage all my students to take from a variety of teachers, because I've learned a lot from taking classes in lots of styles and from people with different personalities. So when a student disappears, sometimes I think they've found something that agrees with them more.
Relax and enjoy teaching and ask your helpers to bring you students that will expand your horizons as a teacher and student too. Letting go of expectations as a teacher is one of the hardest things I've had to do. And letting go of students is right up there with letting go of expectations.
Posted by: Rachael Bower | August 23, 2007 01:52 PM
It seems to me this is a wonderful opportunity to practice non-attachment. Your teaching is an offering of you talents and training and life experiences. Try to let it be simply that without attaching to the results. Easier said than done, I know. Good luck!
Posted by: Mary | August 23, 2007 07:32 PM
I too am a new teacher and have experienced some of what you describe. I recognise two things going on for me: 1. the feelings that arise and 2. the thinking side which worries and rationalises. So, what do I do? I acknowledge the feelings, explore where they come from, remind myself that they are feelings and that they will pass. I look to my teacher and observe what she does. She always welcomes me back with a smile if I'm absent for a bit. I know that if I 'worry' more for my students when they are not with me, I'll become exhausted and won't be able to look after them when they are with me, or look after myself properly. But of course you know all of this don't you ! Om shanti
Posted by: Carol Borthwick | August 26, 2007 10:11 AM
I Think that is normal to feel like this,and is good that you email to her,I think that as a yoga teacher we have to take care of our students,is part of be a good teacher and the people like your clasess.
Posted by: Carola | August 27, 2007 04:44 AM
I think that sending an email to all your students listing upcoming workshops, simple ideas for the season, etc. is a great way to keep in touch. I have been unable to attend my teacher's class for a while, and I love getting emails to hear how he is doing and where he is teaching.
Posted by: Tracy | August 29, 2007 05:57 PM
As a student I have a favorite teacher. When I was going to be away for 6 months, I let her know. Also, during month-long breaks from her class (through the park district), I have checked out other studios in my area. I write them "thank you" notes. Just to let them know what I loved in their class and why they probably will see me off and on, then and there.
Posted by: Ann | August 29, 2007 08:43 PM
Tough break about losing your prized student, but I bet she'll come back. I'm starting a teacher training next weekend (after 5 years of practicing, and hemming and hawing about whether I'd like to teach), and I'm already worrying about mundane things like attracting students, what kind of dharma I'll impart or try to impart, and why am I doing this anyway?
Thanks for writing a great blog!
Posted by: Franklin | September 5, 2007 02:28 PM