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February 20, 2007

The New Teacher Blues


After months of assisting, continued study, and thinking about teaching yoga, I finally decided it was time to teach my own class. I've been so excited about this class—a class designed specifically for teens at a really rad yoga studio near my apartment—that I could barely contain myself.

I spent weeks preparing—studying up on how to connect with teenagers, planning sequences for all levels (then back-up sequences for those), perfecting my cues and adjustments. I thought I had everything covered. I went to the studio on a rainy Monday afternoon, unlocked the studio door, swept the floors, and got the lighting just right... and I waited... and waited... and waited.

Every few minutes I'd hear a noise, glance a hopeful gaze toward the small rectangular window in the studio's door only to be disappointed. I thought to myself, "It must've just been the rain."

What's a yoga teacher to do when nobody shows up for her first real class at a real yoga studio? What would you do all by yourself in a room full of yoga props?

Of course, I went to the prop wall and got down four bolsters, five blankets, two blocks, a strap, and an eye pillow and set myself up in the most luxurious Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclining Bound Angle Pose) you could imagine in the middle of the empty studio&mdashjust under a gorgeous skylight so I could hear the rain drip down. Then, I began to ponder how on earth I was going to get the word out about my class.

February 07, 2007

My Wednesday Samskara

I have this problem. I don't do yoga on Wednesday. I do yoga Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday without fail, but for some reason, Wednesdays just don't seem to be in the plans. This has been happening for weeks now and it's not even something I can explain.

Each week is the same. I am energized by my Monday and Tuesday classes (I even practice what I learn again when I get home from work), and I tell myself there's no way I'm going to miss my Wednesday morning class. But then when it comes time to actually get out the door, I can't do it. Each week it gets harder—sometimes I don't feel well, sometimes I'm sore from yoga the day before, sometimes there's just a good segment I can't stand to miss on The Today Show. Today, it was cold and I thought I smelled rain in the air. That was enough reason for me to curl up under my warm covers for another 30 minutes.

Then, I get to the office, see the pairs of shoes outside the yoga room where my co-workers are finishing up their Savasanas, and I'm immediately disappointed in myself. "How could I have missed this class, AGAIN?!"

Times like this confirm my belief truth in the yogic concept of samskara, which says that the more we engage in a specific behavior the more likely we are to do it again, and again . . . and again.

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