The Downward Trend Continues
I wish I could say that this week was better than last. But again, no Jason. And again, no class. And again, the same thirty minutes of poses that I've been doing for months. And I'm caught in a quagmire because the classes scare me so I don't go, but then I don't learn anything new so my home practice bores me. It's a ridiculous cycle, made all the more ridiculous by the fact that I understand it so well yet don't do anything to change it.
So I did yoga. Three times. And each time, immediately following the practice, I felt good. But despite that, the next time I thought about doing yoga I dreaded it. Wished I didn't have to. Felt like it was an imposition. All of those emotions cloud the practice and make it not what it could be. Which isn't to say it's bad. It's not. But it's blah, and that's not enough to keep me committed past the six months that I've already committed to. People keep asking me how it's going and I smile and say fine when underneath I really want to say it's going horribly (an overstatement, but still.) I want it to be over, and I wonder why I ever thought that this would be a good idea.