For the first time in a few weeks, I'm feeling good about yoga. I finally met with Jason again, and we did some new poses, which was fantastic. I love balance poses. I'm not that good at them, but there's something about them that makes me really conscious of the kinks and twists in my body. In principle, I know I should be able to hold these poses. And when I can't, I know it's because I leaned too far forward or too far backward, or because my alignment is not quite right. So I strive for perfect balance in the pose, which is tremendously centering.

I'm hoping this newfound sense of calm stays with me. This whole process is a search for me. And it's having a profound impact on me. I had a long conversation with some friends the other day about my yoga funk, and I realized that it's actually more of an overall funk. I know what it's about. I've always been a person who (I thought) had a pretty clear sense of myself and how people perceived me. But that is leaving me in part because my sense of myself isn't as clear. I became a part of this project because I wanted to address some fundamental components of my life that were unhealthy and unsustainable. I'm too frenetic and too impatient. I can't sit still, and I have trouble with the concept of enough. Yoga is impacting those traits, but it's not conflict free. I can't help but subconsciously resist the transformation out of fear that I'll come out on the other side having not just altered those things that I want to change, but having lost traits that make me who I am.

But for now, I'm not going to think about it. I'm going to stop typing and attempt Tree Pose instead.

Posted by Leah Castella at 08:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

After taking months away from racing, I did a triathlon last weekend, and it was on extremely minimal swim/bike/run training. For the past two months, I've done only three workouts a week—track practice on Tuesdays, indoor spinning class on Thursdays, and then either an easy run or bike outdoors on Saturdays. Swimming has been virtually non-existent (twice in 2 months). However, I have been quite consistent with my four-per-week yoga practice—group class once a week, private lesson once a week, and home practice twice a week. Naturally, I was a bit nervous about competing in a triathlon on such a tiny amount of swim/bike/run training. So I arrived at the race with no expectations for myself, except to simply enjoy the beautiful weather and a fun day outdoors swimming, biking, and running with many friends.

To my great surprise, I had one of my best performances in years! The most significant change was how much smoother my swimming stroke had become. I had planned to just "get through" the one-mile swim with minimal effort, as if it were a gentle warm-up or cool-down. I even paused occasionally to alternate from freestyle to breaststroke. Perhaps because of my non-competitive mindset, or perhaps because of yoga-induced physical changes, it was truly remarkable how different my body felt in the water—so comfortable, free, and easy.

I thought back to my lesson with Jason on Down Dog a month ago, the way those micro-adjustments gave me the sensations of a straight line of action from hips, to torso, all the way to the arms and hands. Combined with other commonly practiced poses like Parsvokonasana (Side-Angle Pose), it seems I've learned how to integrate my whole body in a more intelligent way. Previously, in my effort to reach for a longer freestyle swim stroke, I would lose power and feel disjointed. Now I understood how to reach from my hips and torso (rather than from the shoulder socket) and create more length without sacrificing power. When I finished the swim, I was shocked to see that I had achieved one of my fastest one-mile swim splits ever, with seemingly no effort whatsoever!

The bike and run legs also went smoothly. Overall my times were quite respectable and far faster than I had dreamed with such minimal training. Better yet, all three sports felt smoother and more effortless than ever before. While my muscles did not feel as strong and powerful as they did years ago when I trained and raced more competitively, I found the sensations of swimming, biking, and running more enjoyable with the new changes in my body. At the end of the race, I felt I could have easily continued for longer distances without fatigue. This is especially encouraging as I prepare for an Ironman Triathlon next year.

As I write this blog, I am overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude for this opportunity to integrate yoga into my life. Yoga fits so beautifully into my sensibilities as a practitioner of Holistic Sports Medicine. Already, this experience has greatly enhanced my ability to help both myself and my patients. Looking forward to my Ironman training, I am now convinced that yoga can (and will) play a vital role in creating a smart, well-rounded training and self-care program.

Posted by Edith Chan at 11:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Still craving 4 hours of yoga a day, I went to try Sivananda in Grass Valley, California and also practiced in a few other places that didn't work out for me. Jason encouraged me to try new things, a lesson in detachment. It was like he knew I would return to the simplicity and truth of his teaching. Of course, I did.

In other news, I recently found myself back in court. It was another jury trial. This time I was scared, but I knew I had nothing to lose. It was a tough case, unlike the easy one I lost against Wal-mart. This time I won—the jury goes 12-0 for me and my injured client, who had a back fracture from a cab driver allowing his passenger to carelessly open the door into traffic.

The jury gave me what I asked for, but I asked for it in a strange, new, detached way. Is this how a yogi would try a case to a jury in court? I think so.

Posted by Mark Webb at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I wish I could say that this week was better than last. But again, no Jason. And again, no class. And again, the same thirty minutes of poses that I've been doing for months. And I'm caught in a quagmire because the classes scare me so I don't go, but then I don't learn anything new so my home practice bores me. It's a ridiculous cycle, made all the more ridiculous by the fact that I understand it so well yet don't do anything to change it.

So I did yoga. Three times. And each time, immediately following the practice, I felt good. But despite that, the next time I thought about doing yoga I dreaded it. Wished I didn't have to. Felt like it was an imposition. All of those emotions cloud the practice and make it not what it could be. Which isn't to say it's bad. It's not. But it's blah, and that's not enough to keep me committed past the six months that I've already committed to. People keep asking me how it's going and I smile and say fine when underneath I really want to say it's going horribly (an overstatement, but still.) I want it to be over, and I wonder why I ever thought that this would be a good idea.

Posted by Leah Castella at 07:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (51)

This week at my private lesson, Jason and I addressed my difficulty expanding and contracting the breath at the middle bandha. So we worked on opening and releasing the upper abdomen, ribs, flank, etc. with a short, task-focused asana practice before the pranayama practice. This, combined with consciously maintaining a relaxed attitude, was extremely effective at releasing the blockages I've been feeling during my pranayama practice. Interesting, rather than the middle feeling tight today, the throat felt more locked up. It seems the blockages are gradually moving up (and out)?

Posted by Edith Chan at 05:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Mark’s knee doesn’t look good. And, actually, his feet and ankles don’t look much better. I told you in my last discussion of Mark that I didn’t want to focus too closely on his injury because there are larger, more systemic issues that he also need to address, like stress management and overall conditioning. What’s more, Mark needs to connect to a philosophical system that provides him with the new identity that is beginning to form inside. All of this is well and good, but, sadly, we still have a major knee injury to address, so let’s get down to it.

When I look at his swollen knee and his limp, it is evident that he has chronic pain. Also, his range of motion is severely limited: He can only bend his left knee 20 degrees or so in standing poses; basic backbends such as Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Pose) are off limits due to pressure and strain in the posture; and, very little external rotation is available. So, what’s a yoga teacher to do?

We’ve got to start strengthening the leg right away, right? If there’s a problem in the body, we need more strength, right? I hear this most days of the week, and, at least in the case of Mark’s knee, I don’t think focusing on strength, strength, strength is the first course of action. I won’t bore you to tears, but I have a feeling that the "strengthen first" solution has more to do with cultural, ethical biases than it does effective problem solving. And, here is the reason: Since Mark is profoundly misaligned from his left toes to his left hip, focusing on strengthening too early will make him stronger but not necessarily in the right ways. Instead, we’ve got to properly align the guy so that his body stops fighting himself so much. Of course, strengthening and aligning are not mutually exclusive. One should do both. However, this isn’t just an issue of semantics, it’s an issue of orientation. Strengthening his quadriceps until he can pull a semi-truck down the street is not necessarily going to make his knee feel better and it certainly isn’t going to reform his feet and ankles. It might present us with a temporary fix, but unless we develop good alignment in his feet, ankles, knee and hip he will continue to be vulnerable to severe knee problems.

So, before we strengthen we’ll align. Then, after creating better alignment, we’ll work to increase his range of motion. Once both are looking better, then we will shift the focus to strength. Sure, all of this happens simultaneously—sort of. But our awareness has to be concentrated on the topic of alignment so that we can cultivate greater physical integrity.

We’ll keep working his standing poses intelligently (and with the proper support). We’ll also increase his range of movement throughout his hips and various supported hip-openers. Then, we will support and deeply relax his legs in poses like Viparitta Karani (Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose). I’m sure with this work that his knee discomfort will begin to subside, though, he may still feel some pain for the foreseeable future.

Posted by Jason Crandell at 09:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

The challenge of incremental change is that it's hard to see. And when it's hard to see, it's hard to stay focused and keep moving forward. While I wouldn't say I'm precisely stagnating, I have noticed a marked decline in my motivation. I suspect the novelty is wearing off. No longer is yoga something new and interesting. Instead, it's quickly becoming yet another obligation that I have to fulfill. And another thing for me to feel guilty about not doing, which is precisely what I didn't want to happen.

So I need to re-focus. But I'm not quite sure how. It doesn't help that I didn't have my one-on-one class with Jason this week. While the class is only a small part of the actual yoga that I do, having someone to track my progress is the way that I stay focused. He can see what I can't...the small things that I can now do that I couldn't before ... like the ability to coordinate breath and movement that has become much more natural. And ironically, it's very naturalness makes it hard to view it as progress.

Hopefully this is just a phase. I'll see Jason and he'll give me a pep talk and I'll find the perfect beginner yoga class that is actually for beginners. And my home practice will start to feel fulfilling again instead of boring and obligatory. I know that each of those things will happen. But right now, I'm going to continue to wallow in my yoga funk.

Posted by Leah Castella at 09:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Last week, Jason designed a new home practice for me with a focus on side bends, replacing the restorative and inversion-based practice I had the first month. I'm very happy to report that this side bend sequence has greatly relieved my chronic backache. It opened up much of the locked up sensations I've often felt in the low back since my rowing injury 10 years ago. So while this new sequence takes quite a bit longer than the previous one, I make it a priority to make time for it.

The side bend practice also prepared me for starting a pranayama practice this week. I discussed the results of last week's exercise physiological testing with Jason. And he thought it was interesting that the tests concluded I had mild obstructive lung disease because of a slow rate of air-flow. In yoga (and in qi gong) it is considered ideal to breathe long, slow, smooth breaths. So the idea that I should strive to force air in and out quickly is a bit counter to Jason's yogic (and my qi gong) sensitivities.

During the pranayama practice, Jason taught me to breathe deeply into my perineum and sense my tailbone, pelvis, and pubic bones expand and contract with each breath. I achieved this easily due to my qi gong experience. (However, it's worth noting this awareness had taken months to achieve in my early qi gong practice.) Next, we practiced dividing my torso into thirds, breathing into my low abdomen, then into my ribs, then just the chest. I am told that these are called three locks, or bandhas, in pranayama theory. I found it easy to breath into the low abdomen due to my qi gong background. But the middle level ( i.e. upper abdomen/ribs/flank) felt rather inaccessible for me. I found myself straining and trying to muscle through it. The more I muscled, the more difficult it became. Finally I surrendered (and almost gave up) for a couple breaths and, once I let go completely, it suddenly became much easier.

At the end of the session, Jason advised me to be aware of the sensations of strain and to pause if I find myself forcing my way through rather than relaxing during the exercises. He warned that, as an athlete, I may have an unconscious habit of muscling through difficulty from years of sports training. When I got home, I reflected on this simple piece of advice and realized just how significant it is, in yoga, in sports, AND in life. How wonderful it is to master the ability to stay relaxed and calm even at times of discomfort or challenge. What a beautiful thing, to carry oneself always with this kind of ease, flow, grace and finesse regardless of the circumstances!

Posted by Edith Chan at 09:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)