Try not to get down on yourself. Just trying is far more than most people do. Progress sneaks up on you.

No yoga loser. only yoga winner (did that sound like Yoda?)

The beauty of yoga is progression; that WOW factor when you look back after 3+ months of yoga and see how far you have come. The feeling you get after just having done a pose and you think there is no way I could have done that so easily when I first started. (without pain or wishing the instructor would say come out of the pose!) For me it was the standing poses that I found so difficult and even painful at times. Now I actually enjoy doing them.
It's all about sticking to it in order to be able to feel this feeling 3+ months down the track. Yoga, for me anyhow,somehow makes you focus other parts of your life as well from nutrition to attitude and the need to compare oneself with others gradually becomes less important. (I have been doing yoga for 12 months now). So great rewards await you if you stick to it.

The thing I love about going to Yoga class is that its different every week, with new asana added on a weekly basis - it keeps it interesting. True none of us can do all of them, but that is fine. Yoga is about doing that is right for you and not worrying about what the person next door to you is going.

Due to some physical limitations I can not perform certain types of asana, but my teacher taught me about the essence of the pose; work out what the essence is and then find one you can do; inversions are about getting the heart above the head - so try downward facing dog. Using this you can always find another posture which gives the same essence. In time, you may well end up doing shoulder stand, but in the mean time you can benefit from alternative postures.

Leah,
First, let me say, I am what you would call a Plus Size Yogini. We're rare, but out there. I read your article in Yoga Journal and just now saw your posting about shoulder stand. I completely sympathize with you. In the second session of my New Beginner's Class, they started instructing shoulder stand. I watched in utter terror, truly believing I would never be able to do it. I just knew that if I flipped my legs over my head into Plow Pose to prep for shoulder stand that I would break my neck. After I had been attending regular classes for a couple of months, I grew weary of the inevitable shoulder stand towards the end of class. I too felt like a Yoga Loser, being the only one that couldn't do the pose. Finally, I started working at home, without 15 or so strangers, by going up to my wall, putting my legs up, then feet on the wall and trying to let one leg come down. One night it accidentally happened and to my utter amazement, my neck did not snap in two. Then I did the wiggling of the shoulders and elbows up under me and got my legs straight up. Once I got over the initial neck fear, I was able to pop right into shoulder stand like everyone else. I've found, for myself, that the hardest part of shoulder stand now is to get your legs and hips square over your shoulders and not be bent over like a banana. I am very happy to report I've been doing shoulder stand ever since. Infact, I can even do supported headstand at the wall now, thanks to my amazing instructor Trace. After I had been practicing for a long while, she told me I had the ab strength to support it and pulled my legs up to the wall. For a couple of weeks, I went home, again, and practiced with a chair to get my legs half way up and then on to the wall. Now I can do it in class without a chair and often times pop right into it. There are still so many poses I can't do, but there are some I can do that even the skinniest people in the class and even the instructors can't, or that it took them years to get. It gives me great pleasure to say I started my Yoga journey on February 18, 2003 and next week is my 4 year anniversary. I go to class 5-6 days a week at the most wonderful place in the world, Holy Cow Yoga Studio in Charleston, SC. I've found that my practice and the amazing people I have the privilege to practice with not only make my physical body feel open and strong, but my heart and soul as well. Stop dwelling on what you can't do and revel in what you can, the rest will come, eventually.
I hope that you find your Bliss in your Yoga Practice, as I have.

Namaste,
Janie

Congrats on your progress. Remember, Yoga is a journey, not a destination. Now that you know the names and sequences of most of the poses, you can start to really focus on you and you will forget the other people in the room. The first time that happens (especially during a more challenging pose) you will leave the class feeling even more accomplished.

Take heart Leah! It has taken me almost a year to be able to come up into shoulderstand. I look at the other folks in class with envy sometimes, but we all have to remember our yoga is just that - ours.

I seem to remember in one of your first blogs you writing about enjoying the process of yoga. I LOVED that statement! I still LOVE that statement....I loved it so much that I used it this morning when I taught my morning yoga class. Yoga really is a process and I find sometimes adding a dash of humor also helps when coming into some of the more challenging poses. This morning as I lead my class in to Ardha Chandrasana (half moon pose)1/3 of the ladies in the class were able to enjoy the full expression of the pose, 1/3 were still 'enjoying the process, and 1/3 definitely just enjoyed a good chuckle at what they were able to accomplish. Keep up the great work!

I have so little flexibility that, following instructions to bend my legs as necessary, my Downward Facing Dog looked like a Downward Facing Frog. I know how you feel -- it's easier not to compare yourself to others when you're looking good. Eyes on the prize, eyes on the prize...

I think you are an inspiration. I know yoga has the power to transform your life. Sometimes it's hard to stay on the path at first, but I think you are doing so well. Very admirable.

I am grateful that yoga allows me to take a step out of my comfort zone. The ego is comfortable with repetition and routine. When we step outside of routine the ego puts up a fight. I have come to understand that this space of discomfort is also where I find personal growth. I used to fear change, and even though it still makes my heart pound and my palms sweat, I welcome it. I know that inside that feeling of discomfort is a seed of greatness that is ready to grow. So as your practice leads you into new poses, welcome them all. . . . even the ones that bring out your competitive side. There is so much to be learned, wherever you find yourself in a pose. You inspire us Leah!

How I know that feeling of being a yoga loser. Not only am I overweight (to put things lightly) but I have severe osteoarthritis in my knees. I'll start at home and then quit out of frustration and because I can't get into many of the positions on the video.

You are doing better than you think Leah. Keep it up! You are an inspiration to many of us. You'll do great!!! :)

Leah -

I'm a larger-sized beginning yogini as well, and I really value your postings here. Due to scheduling issues, I only am able to attend public class maybe once a week (the rest of my practice is at home), but when I do, I sometimes face the same issues as you. Not only do I have no upper body strength to speak of, I also feel sort of out of place with all the super slender people in class (although I'm more flexible than 95% of them, which is sweet). Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, and that your words are really inspiring.

Hi Leah,

You didn't become an attorney in a few months, but just kept working on it bit by bit, year by year, and it all came together, and just got better. Yoga is the same kind of practice, slow, careful, rewarding and bit by bit.

The very best wishes to you.

All of us are beginners for a long time, and many types of poses are difficult for some people and easy for some people. I'm sure there are a few that are easy for you and hard for others.

I know it's hard to step outside of what you are already mastering and try something you are pretty sure you can't do (I'm an attorney too), but those things will become routine and pleasurable as you learn them. Don't underestimate the power of modified and preparatory poses either. I can do headstand and handstand against a wall these days but I often do the preparatory poses at least half the time because they are still challenging and they are preparing me to leave the wall someday.

I really enjoy your journal.

Hi Leah,

Firstly, good one! Well done on being brave enough to go to public classes!

Secondly, keep going. I can guarantee you that nearly all of your classmates are thinking the same thing as you, there will always be someone out there who is stronger or more limber. The shape is not important -- it's the intention that is the key.

Keep at it!

Hi Leah,

I've been practicing yoga for six years. I've studied in California and India and have taught yoga on occassion. Perfecting the poses is a struggle that never quite ends because the true pose is achieved with the cessation of mental distraction. Each day begins an endless stream of thoughts and emotions. When you first learn a pose, you are distracted by pain, other practioners and a myriad of other issues. Over time, the pose becomes easy and you are still distracted and lose focus of the mind-body-breath connection. But every once in awhile, one pose for one moment is captured in complete stillness of mind. Yoga means union and that union is a mysterious presence of you melding with the body, the breath, the universe. A yoga pose perfected is in this stillness. It can be sitting on the couch or in down dog. It has nothing to do with alignment or strength. When you realize this, you will have achieved all. Keep up the daily practice and know that every yogini is struggling in the classes along side of you- including the teacher. I just smile to myself, refocus on my breath, lift my sit bones a little higher, and look for still waters. You're doing great by sharing with all of us readers. Namaste.

Hi Leah I am a plus size yogi. Due to that and to the fact that I have little flexibility, I have accepted that I may never be able to do many of the poses. (sort of liken to the realization I will never be a ballerina, either! LOL)Not that I do not challenge myself. I so appreciate Rodney Yee's Moving Into Balance book that has three versions of many poses - a low impact version to high impact if you will. The best yoga teachers are ones who do offer variations or at least say what is CLOSE to the pose for us beginners and never will be's!

Hi Leah,

It's so great reading your story, because I am reaching the point in my practice where all my little imperfections are just blaringly obvious to me, particularly my lack of balance. I'm getting better slowly, and even though I had a great session last night and can feel my improvement, my impatience is making me feel like a Yoga Loser.

Your blog here is making me feel so much better about my practice, because I know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling. Reading your story makes me realize that I need to be patient with myself, because I am getting there, just like you are getting there!

I don't do the plough, shoulder stands, anything that has to do with standing on my elbows.

Since it's your practice, you can choose what you want to do or not. You can always choose to do it later, there's no right or wrong in this. You're there for you, not for the instructor or anyone else. So relax.

I'd have to say that the absolute worst day in yoga was the day that this woman was using her "jai" breath to such an extent that I'm sure she has some serious ENT needs that need tending to. I mean really, I could have recorded her breathing and used it to make crank phone calls.

Okay, but that's going off. Hey, plus size yogini or not.... you're great. Keep going.