Balancing Act
Sometimes things are just meant to be. After spending almost seven years as an associate at a large law firm, I changed jobs less than two months ago. I wanted to do something different—something more interesting and more meaningful and more, well, me. But most of all I wanted balance, which is in short supply in the law firm world. So when a friend at my old job forwarded me the e-mail from the Bay Club a mere two days after I started the new job, it felt like it was meant just for me. It was the universe’s way of pushing me along.
I’ve had those moments before . . . a few years ago I was training for a triathlon, and one morning when I was so tired and so sore and so sick of training that I had made up my mind to quit, I got into my office and had a message from my gym that I’d won a bike. You just can’t ignore signs like that. The makeover story e-mail was the same. New job, new mindset, new body—a new me. I’ll be like those women in Yoga Journal who look completely at peace, their bodies still and beautiful while they hold some pose that right now seems a million years away. And, I’m hoping, that peace will permeate everything I do.
I know it would take a lifetime of study to achieve the inner- and outer-peace of a yogini, but hopefully I’ll get part of the way there. Along the way, I want to learn to embrace the process, not the goal. I want balance. I want to take time each day to nourish every part of me. So instead of working like a mad woman one week, relaxing the next, and going to the gym every day the week after that, I want to try integrating each thing into my life every day. Instead of strictly dieting one week and eating doughnuts the next, I want to be health-conscious everyday—with some occasional chocolate.
My natural state is more frenetic than balanced. It will be a struggle to adjust to a calmer way of being. I will need to slow down and develop patience, even though a big part of me is afraid that in doing so, I’ll lose some central part of myself—or that I’ll lose that part of myself, but see no other change. That is, without a doubt, my biggest fear. Change is a funny thing. Because it’s incremental, it’s hard to see (which is why I lose patience with diets and quit them, or get frustrated with the gym and stop going.) I don’t want this to be another thing that I don’t sustain. My hope is that, through yoga, I can learn to embrace and celebrate small changes both to my body and my mind. And of course, that in six months I’ll be strong and slender and able to twist my body like a pretzel!
Comments
Go for it and give it your all. Yoga has changed my life. I am 44 years old and in 10 months I have lost 150 (one hundred fifty) pounds..of course I ate well, but Yoga was the real key for me. I could go on and on about this, but this is about you, not me. Hang in there, Namaste.
Posted by: Marci Nash | December 20, 2006 12:37 AM
Leah, I'm right there with you! I'm so frenetic about being "good" - eatting well and exercising one week and then pigging out lazing around on the couch the next. I have been trying to make yoga a regular part of my life for two years. I'm going to follow along with you and try again.
Thanks for doing this.
:-)
Kate
Posted by: Kate | December 20, 2006 11:00 AM
I love your comment about wanting to learn to embrace the process, not the goal. Stay encouraged, take your time to embrace the postures, eventually it all comes natural!
Posted by: Susan | December 20, 2006 07:17 PM
Oh you Are me! except I'm still at the law firm, and a partner and have kids! I will be so interested to follow your progress and see how we compare!
Posted by: andi | December 20, 2006 09:55 PM
Leah, I will be cheering you on. Enjoy the journey! May 2007 be all you want (and need) it to be!
Posted by: Caroline | December 23, 2006 08:55 PM
Leah, go for it! I've found yoga to be great for exercise and centering myself. Quick question, as a larger sized practioner I have the worst time find nice looking gear to wear to classes ... where's your cute top from?
Posted by: Sarah | December 25, 2006 06:13 PM
You go Leah!
We all support you.
Namaste,
w2
Posted by: Wendy Weisberg | December 26, 2006 04:38 AM
Another adventure to start, remember to enjoy it. Will be checking in as I am also unbalanced. Doing too much one week, not enough the other. Working single mother and part-time fitness/pilates and yoga instructor. But at times, I need to take a break and do my own practice. I will certainly be looking forward to your progress!
Posted by: Chantal | December 27, 2006 06:15 PM
Leah:
We have many things in common!I will be following your change. I started Yoga practice a few months ago & I am see that change now. Embrace the process: new job, new mindset, and new body. See you May 2007~
Posted by: Meredith | December 27, 2006 07:21 PM
I want to encourage you as you begin this remarkable adventure...remember that change begins on the inside and flows outward; just because change is not evident to the naked eye, doesn't mean it's not there. Enjoy each moment of discovery and don't be hard on yourself. You have already reached a milestone by just beginning this journey.
Posted by: Christi | December 28, 2006 08:57 PM
I am inspired by your story - I just started yoga practice three months ago and am also a size 18. I've lost about 10 pounds and am feeling good. Your story will help me to continue. I was wondering where you got your really cute yoga clothes? I have had a hard time finding them in my size. I will be watching and practicing along with you.
Posted by: Gail | December 29, 2006 07:59 PM
Leah, I am so inspired by you and the journey you are undertaking. Yoga has changed my life, and continues to do so as I move forward - especially as I come across stories like yours. I am positive you will enjoy the same. You are a beautiful person! Hang in there. There are so many of us with you on this!
Posted by: Zelda | December 29, 2006 09:18 PM
Leah, you go girl! we all want to know where you get our cute clothing. so glad you are enjoying the process, that is the whole point. and do celebrate all your victories, we will cheer you on!
Posted by: izzy | December 31, 2006 07:01 PM
Leah, I want to thank you for your courage to do this makeover. I grabbed a copy of Yoga Journal this past weekend on inpulse. Your lifestyle, body type and goals are so similar to mine, it's scary. :) I'm in advertising, another of the long hour careers.
Well, knowing that you're trying this and the encouragement of my family, I have signed up for a beginner's class in Yoga!
Here's to losing about 50lbs and feeling more at home in my own skin.
God Bless, Leah!
I'll be watching and working along with you in spirit.
Stephanie from Portland.
Posted by: Stephanie | January 2, 2007 11:33 PM
Leah, so many of your comments fit me so well, from the all or nothing approach to wanting to become completely at peace. I'm cheering for you, Girl!
Posted by: Denise | January 3, 2007 02:36 PM
Thank you all so much for your support. These entries that you all have taken the time to write are really motivating! And, for all of you folks wondering about the super cute yoga top, it's from http://www.stoneweardesigns.com.
Posted by: LEAH | January 4, 2007 11:03 PM
We all need to take baby steps. There are no short cuts. Even if someone does think there are - they are short lived. Its a long journey, but if we integrate these exercises in our daily routine, in a while they seem like a part of us - like we have been doing this for ages! Just like we have been eating, sleeping, breathing. And thats the trick. Good luck - and way to go! :)
Posted by: YogaSam | January 9, 2007 10:30 AM