Releasing into Backbends

Backbends. It's the only groups of asanas in yoga that scares the bejeepers out of me before I even roll out my mat. The word scares me.

They're hard, aren't they?

After a week of concentrated effort (and almost two years of recurrent effort), I can power one hand to one raised and shaking heel in Camel. I'd put this outstanding accomplishment on YouTube if I thought it had anything to do with real yoga. My pseudo-twisty-gritted-teeth Camel does not.

My Camel attempts have been push, push, push, gotta get there even if it means squashing the heck out of my lower back. Etc.

A survey of backbend literature suggests they have everything to do with moving from fear to courage, from fear to power. The word that shows up again and again, making me nuts, is "release." You don't read much about bulldogging your way to courage and power. You read, instead, about allowing, opening, and releasing resistance.

Backbends are designed to open our pelvises, our hearts, and our throats. They are designed to open us to receiving the hearts of others, to receiving what the future brings, and to trusting life.

Until backbends, I would have told you that trust and openness are my middle names. Much of my time is spent writing, speaking, and reading about love and courage.

Backbends are teaching me that my body is not yet completely on board, that there is a bit more fear in my body than my mind likes to admit.

So. No more pushing against my own resistance.

Starting this morning, all shoulder and hip openers (my prep work for backbends) are done softly, gently, and with a focus on surrendering long-ingrained defenses I no longer need. I will encourage myself at whatever volume is necessary. "Good for you. Let go, little goddess. IT IS SAFE TO LET GO." Just as well that I'll be practicing these at home.

Are you one of those backbend wizards? If you are, tell us how that freedom feels. Are you backbend phobic? If you are, can you see that changing?

Thanks to yoga for offering us opening after opening after opening, and thank you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr. Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario. Join her on the web, on Facebook, on Twitter, and on iTunes.

Posted by Kristin Shepherd on July 7, 2011 9:44 AM | Permalink |

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Comments

Thank you for sharing this. What an honest, wonderful post. I relate to the fear you're talking about. My fear comes out in crazy nausea - every time I do camel, or a deep back bend, I am overwhelmed with nausea. Guess my body expresses fear and "holding on" through wanting to puke! Or maybe it's a sign of something being released? Anyway, such an interesting, beautiful process. Thank you for sharing!

Posted by: Angie | July 7, 2011 11:17 AM

Why don't you try a standing backbend? Stand with feet 3 feet apart, hands on the waist with thumbs in front. Lift your head and breath in. Exhale as you go back as far as far as you comfortably can. Inhale slowly as you come up. I love this pose and it opens up your chest too :)

Posted by: Michelle | July 7, 2011 11:41 AM

I love your honesty and updates about backbends. I used to struggle so much with backbends, shoving into poses like camel and wheel and always coming out with a sore, twitchy lower back and a frown on my face. But everything you are saying is totally true- it is that release, that willingness to let go, the acceptance that it doesn't matter how far you go or how open you look, and being okay with parts of your body feeling closed off and being tight- that is where the opening and gracefulness arise from. When I was doing my teacher training my teacher was really into heart openers, and slowly, over time, I learned to soften certain muscles, lengthen, and from a strong foundation lift up and out then reach back. I look forward to reading more about your journey! Thank you.

Posted by: Kate | July 7, 2011 1:05 PM

Angie: I also feel like I'm going to get sick every time I'm in Camel. I curious to find out why. No other backbends bother me in that way.

Posted by: Danika | July 7, 2011 1:36 PM

I certainly wouldn't call myself a "backbend wizard" but I must admit that I've always liked backbends, more than forward bends anyway (probably due to my short hamstrings from running and cycling).

Backbends in general are a group of postures that some people really do shy away from. I think part of that stems from the fact that a general yoga class of maybe 90 minutes isn't really long enough to get into the subtleties of these postures. If you're struggling with backbends, or just want to improve, then try and get along to a backbends workshop with a good teacher. Spending half a day, or even a whole day working on and discussing backbends will make the world of difference and really increase your confidece!

Posted by: Yoga Billy | July 9, 2011 3:26 AM

For me, backbends are the most therapeutic asana for a bad back. Thats what I learned first, the anatomy of it all. as I prescribed more and more I realized backbends are about trusting the unknown and letting go of old hurts and fears. As I focus on lifting my sternum and opening the front of my spine, I begin to open my heart and my true center. Allowing energy to flow through the stagnant areas of the body brings vitality, trust, love and compassion. Invite peace and light with evey breath

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Posted by: lindaliudf | July 9, 2011 8:41 AM

I agree. Backbends are intimidating. And I struggle with Camel too. But worse than backbends for me is the headstand. I'm not sure if practice makes perfect or if there are simply poses that some people (me) are not meant to do. I will keep on trying nonetheless :-)

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Posted by: StudioLiveTV | July 11, 2011 5:52 AM

I feel like every yogi has their fearful place - that place where they have to work a little bit harder, challenge their self-trust and self-compassion. Inverting is that place for me. So while I can rock a backbend or an arm balance pretty much on command, I've been slowly slowly slowly trying to push up into headstand for as long as I can remember and forearm balance sends me tumbling to the ground every time. There is no perfect practice and no flawless yogi! Or alternatively, I guess you could say every practice is perfect so long as it comes from a place of love and every yogi is flawless just from a place of inherent self-worth.

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