"I am, slowly, SLOWLY, becoming someone I'm happier to spend quiet evenings with" -

now that's a pretty nicely lit candle ;-)

I know I've told you this for what feels like a thousand times now, but these are my thoughts exactly! You're just better at putting them into beautiful words than I am. --hey, we all have our strengths. LOL I too am constantly frustrated by slow progression. While my yoga instructors always boast what a wonderful job I'm doing and how far I've come in my practice, I always compare myself (tisk, tisk) the women in the magazines and on yj.com and their perfection of the poses. I am just happy that while I have this constant inner struggle about my progress, I do feel and see the difference in myself. Both mentally and physically. :-) I never knew I could love something quite the way I love yoga.

Thank you for this, Kristin. I feel the way you do, more often than I’d like. But I tell myself that it’s precisely during these moments that we are getting close to real advancement, because the ego, threatened with being diminished, fights back by giving form to all the old doubts and fears. So I persist even on those days when I don’t feel as strong, flexible, calm, and enlightened as I imagine I should be by now. Then I try to stop just that – imagining, projecting, anticipating future success or struggle. This day, this moment, this breath is enough.

It's so gratifying to recognize and appreciate the smallest things in life: like the glimmer and tranquil glow of a candle. For me, my special moments are in the morning, when I've not yet checked my cell phone, turned on the radio or TV to hear the day's news, booted my laptop to scroll through pages and pages of emails, or even voiced a single word to anyone. Complete silence and the knowledge that before my day is overfilled with technology and noise, my special moment is the time I allot for morning meditation and yoga--in complete silence. Comforts my soul just thinking about what tomorrow morning brings!

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Hi Kristin, it's Kristin.
I am just at the very very very beginning of my yoga practice and in dire need of a mind,body and soul connection. I am in my late twenties and have spent the majority of them avoiding patience and the simple pleasures in life because I thought in your twenties you SHOULD be on top of your game, doing whatever you have to do to get ahead and live life fast and full. It wasn't until a few months ago when life came crashing down on me and my quarter life crisis hit that I realized that I was shoulding all over myself. Isn't it the journey not the destination that counts? I was rushing through my life so fast trying to get where I wanted to be (which ended up being no where) that I missed my life and all the other opportunities that could have been if I wasn't looking so hard for the results I wanted and imagined for myself. Even when I achieved my goals I didn't take in any time to savour them, I was to focused on what hadn't been accomplished. The one comfort that yoga (or the idea of yoga) gives me at this point in my life is that this is something I can do for myself every day, there's no where to go with it because it's already here. Is it results or is it the person we imagine ourselves to be when we get the results that we want? If it's the person, I believe we're already whole, everything we need to be that perfect person we imagine is already in us, I look at yoga as a way of finding the answer not being the answer. If there is anything I've learned in the last year it's that yesterday is history and tommorow never comes - what's the point of focusing in on two worlds that don't exist? Just be here.

Thank you for your article and thank you for sparking interest when I thought it was all gone.

Kristin

Oh Kristin, your article hit the nail on the head for me today. When I was at yoga practice tonight I happened to noticed some small improvements (big to me) in a couple of my poses and transitions. I was thinking to myself, "wow! I wasn't even doing that last week or a month ago." The funny thing is that these so called " improvements" weren't anything I was striving for. That is what I find absolutely alluring about yoga. There is no striving! Do you know how liberating that is for someone who has grown up trying "fit in" or join the "rat race" of life? I can finally BE myself (whatever or whoever myself is). I don't have to earn my mat's approval. Huh, it's like a candle has been lit inside of me and I don't have to worry about someone or something trying to blow it out. Maybe it's the candle of happiness. Thanks for the great insight. Perfect timing.

Yesterday, i was thinking about my understanding of yoga, the way i feel about yoga and the way i feel about myself..
And i think that when i expect something from myself, i'm feeling more inpatient, and i'm afraid of dissapointing myself. Expectation leads to probability of dissapointment. This is such a loooooong journey, you know..
I'm 25 yrs old, i'm a computer engineer, working so hard and i've been practicing for almost 2 yrs. Now i'm in teacher training. I'm trying to free my mind in my practice(both asanas and philosophy). As you say, i'm feeling this slow, SLOW change in my soul and my body, and i used to be a 'why so slow, let it be quick!' kinda person, but now, i'm just enjoying this great feeling.
Thank you
:)
Selin.

Yes, patience is required, but in just a year look how far you HAVE come.

Judging by the tone and subject content of your posts, you have changed overwhelmingly- at least to me, as a reader.

I say, stop and take stock of everything you HAVE accomplished, then you will see that sometimes, the nature of change is not always gradual, but so quick you haven't even noticed.

Kristin - I read your blog post late last night. What a lovely, talented writer you are. Your use of imagery is powerful and your words are a calming influence.

Santosa~Contentment with your practice is difficult. Unlike other endevours, in Yoga we only have ourselves to focus our attention and criticism. When I have felt I haven't made enough progress towards a certain asana I return my focus to the basics and try to stregthen them. I have found in a short amount of time I can get that difficult pose by this return to the "core" Yoga asanas. I like and use this quote often "It is called Yoga PRACTICE, not Yoga PERFECT." Namaste.

A couple of years ago I took a bootcamp with Baron Baptiste and one of several things which stuck with me is when he said " It's all yoga; on and off the mat, it's all yoga."

This post is a beautiful post; love the thought of candles (and aren't
t we all in a way just little candles, transforming ourselves?) Anyway - I diverge. I would bet that your writing is actually one form of yoga for you, and I would also bet that in terms of writing you are in the middle of the floor doing headstands - on and off the mat, it's all yoga.

What great imagery! And what a great opportunity to bring practice into our every day life!
I think that the world today has been designed to be the anthesis of all you wrote of. Being slow is hard! Being slow is worth working on, continuously
.
I see pace as an important part of my practice and the reason I teach at a slower pace than some teachers. In slowness and long held poses, I find energy, strength and joy.
Keep lighting those candles of grace and peace in your life and practice. I hope we all will.

I hear you, Kristin!!! It's really easy to say the poses don't matter when you can do them, but being free of that achievement mentality is really tough when you're first beginning! Five years later, I still struggle. The key is to keep showing up and trying!!

Kristen, I think it is interesting that you have found a strategy to cope wi th the frustrations of not making progress at a pace that makes you happy. But what is wrong with just being frustrated? And what if this is as good as it gets? I really do not appreciate always having to be positive ? In the post above from Rebecca, it says: ' It's really easy to say the poses don't matter when you can do them, but being free of that achievement mentality is really tough when you're first beginning! Five years later, I still struggle. The key is to keep showing up and trying!!' I am honestly wondering if it is possible for anybody but a saint not to want to make progress or compete even just with yourself.
This whole issue is not solved , it is not even honestly discussed, but often superficially commented with what people think a yogi should say about this. Tough stuff this...

@ Rebecca
You say: The key is to keep showing up and trying
The key to what??

Certainly the human spirit something relaxing yoga. I think everyone should try it. Leading his own inner identity, there is still a little break and relaxing in a miraculous way that allows people to find him. At first did not believe in my soul, I began to do, but I noticed tapped. Thank you for sharing.

@Karen:

I mean the key to a successful practice. One shouldn't determine success by how many poses you can do, or how pretzel like you can become. Of course, those things are nice and can denote progress. However, the success of the practice is in the showing up and doing the work. That's where we face ourselves and better ourselves, regardless of how our lotus might look! The "advancement" of our postures is a direct result of that work!

The feeling I get from yoga is reason enough do it, even if I never "made progress" in the poses, which i guess means look more like the pictures, but if I looked like the pictures and didn't get the feeling i get from yoga... I wouldn't do it.

Patience is not a virtue I've been able to master. In fact, it's a lifelong struggle to let go. And once I think I have, let go some more. To which I say AARRGGH!

"My progress with yoga is slower than I'd like. That might say more about my impatience than it says about yoga." YES! Me too! I had a hard class last Sunday and have felt down on myself. Obviously I am more focused on my perfection, my want to be good NOW, my own internal negative talk.

Impatience is a great sign of progress. Noting everyone's similar experiences it's also a great opportunity to take the "special"ness out of our own experience, realizing that we're all dealing with the same impersonal mechanism: our mind. IT's the one that is impatient, and during your yoga practice, which should also be a meditation, the best thing to do is look squarely at the impatience and ask the question "who is the one being impatient?" without any answer. If you honestly ask the question you may experience a shift.