Kristin Shepherd
Lowering the Bar
This week my home practice happened at 5am one day, 3pm the next, and in spurts throughout the afternoon on another day. Not at all on two days.
Occasionally I feel disappointed in this, wondering whether I'd finally be able to grab the toes of my left foot in triangle pose if I just applied myself with greater consistency, greater diligence, greater drive.
These same feelings come up when I hear friends say things like, "I haven't missed a day of yoga in 2.7 years. It only takes 27 years to form a good habit. Only 270 days of boot camp and you'll be a new woman." Etc., etc., etc.
Hearing these things, I slump into a kind of anti-achievement stupor. I have set the bar too high to make the leap and all I want now is a bag of chips and a lousy movie.
Same thing goes for every area of my life. Extraordinary colleagues who make Tony Robbins look like a slacker, volunteers who single-handedly bring clean water to very thin children in very small villages, friends who climb absurdly high mountains in Peru for fun and charity dollars. I know these people, and watching them from the comfortable chair in my living room, I sometimes do a little dance with discouragement.
Here's my response to discouragement and disappointment when they're doing a nasty tango with me:
1. Lower the bar. This may not be Tony Robbin's advice, but it works for me. If an hour of practice feels like too high a climb, do thirty minutes. If thirty minutes feels daunting, do one downward dog. I mean it. One.
2. Adore myself for doing one downward dog, for giving myself one glass of water (the children in the village may come another day), for giving every little bit of love I can to myself and my fellow human beings. A well meaning hello with eye contact can save us all, some days.
3. Dream, dream, dream. Of the hamstrings I will have some day, the peace of mind, the work and workplace I'd love, the people I'd love to play with all day long. I do this because of an absolute conviction that dreaming serves to pull these things toward me.
4. Ask myself what one, small thing I'd love to do right now that would take beautiful care of me. Do that one small thing and forget everything else.
These work for me. My guess is that you have your own wonderful thoughts. I'd love to hear them.
Thanks to yoga for putting all of this in my face this week, and thanks to you for the conversation.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, speaker, and workshop wonderwoman in North Bay, Ontario. Join her at kristinshepherd.ca or on Facebook at Dr. Kristin Shepherd.
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Comments
Kristin, I can really relate! And what is really fun here is that this is exactly what I teach women .... in my Wonder Woman Challenge program... 15 minutes a day or less of self-nurture. I love your description "workshop wonderwoman"! =) Ya know, it is important that we celebrate our wins no matter how small they are. I love what you have written ... great advice!! Thanks for sharing!!
Posted by: Shileen | July 27, 2010 10:58 AM
As usual with your posts I love this. I'm home with my 3-week old baby and feeling like an underachiever for not doing more yoga right now. Um... yeah. Lowering the bar may be just what is called for here. Thanks for the reminder to do a little dance each time I manage to fit in a downward dog between feedings :)
Posted by: Hannah | July 27, 2010 1:44 PM
thanks, I was feeling so bad for being too tired to practice, thanks for making me feel normal!
Posted by: Clare Tunstall | July 28, 2010 12:59 AM
AGREED- as Judith Lassiter says, 15 minutes a day is still a practice! Do the best YOU can- namaste!
Posted by: debbie | July 28, 2010 5:12 AM
Test
Posted by: Stacey | July 28, 2010 7:26 AM
I think of it more as "honoring my limits," instead of "lowering the bar." : )One down dog is worth celebrating!
Love the Judith Lassiter comment, Debbie!
Posted by: Stacey | July 28, 2010 7:28 AM
I think of it more as "honoring my limits," instead of "lowering the bar." : )One down dog is worth celebrating!
Love the Judith Lassiter comment, Debbie!
Posted by: Stacey | July 28, 2010 7:29 AM
I think of it more as "honoring my limits," instead of "lowering the bar." : )One down dog is worth celebrating!
Love the Judith Lassiter comment, Debbie!
Posted by: Stacey | July 28, 2010 7:30 AM
Doing that one small thing makes such a difference! Love your blog, thank you for all the great posts.
Posted by: Rachel | July 28, 2010 12:05 PM
I think a little consistent effort every day is better than none, so I agree do little but do frequent. Will power is a scare resource, so a daily routine helps a lot.
On saving the world, better save yourself first, and then be in a position to save someone else.
Peace
Sony
Posted by: Sony Chauhan | July 28, 2010 8:57 PM
It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking 'if I cannot do it all then I will do nothing' when even just a little something is so much better. Thanks for this simple and potent reminder!
Posted by: pushbuttonkitty | July 30, 2010 10:03 AM
How timely! After pushing myself to my limit day after day, convinced that it will get me closer to that chest-glued-to-thighs forward fold or a half moon that doesn't look like its shimmering like a reflection on a pond, I have decided to back off. I pulled an old yoga book from the shelf - Rodney Yee's "Moving Toward Balance" - and have started 8 weeks of basic training. It is daunting, doing down dogs with bent knees and half moons on blocks, but maybe that's what we all need now and again, a little memory course in how far we've come, and the courage to take two steps back.
Posted by: Juliana | August 2, 2010 10:35 AM
I recall Donna Farhi writing or saying somewhere that all too often we practice in service to a body in the future (if I keep doing this my hamstrings will lengthen) or a body from the past (I used to be able to do a deep forward bend). So if we practice in the present moment, for what we need right now, then I think the outer construct of how much time we spend on the mat will disappear. Just turn up to your mat and see where it takes you; one down dog might take you somewhere, or not.
Posted by: Julie | August 2, 2010 2:50 PM
I can totally relate! I have trouble not comparing my actions to other extraordinary friends/acquaintances in my circle. Though I have discovered this only hurts me and diminishes the actual accomplishments I have achieved! It's great that you are giving yourself some credit-I think we don't do that enough!
Posted by: HIlary | August 5, 2010 4:48 AM
Thank you so much for your blog! You have made me lough so hard or even to tears sometimes! That often made my day!
I think that we very often aren`t even aware of our tremendous Effects on the world. I love your recepy on how to get you out of those bad vibrations!
WOuld you have imagined to be on someones list to feel better?
You are on mine :-)
Heres another woman who i find very uplifting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGxZngLecK0
Namasté
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