Yoga Journal Blog: Beginner's Mind



About this Blog

A beginning yogi shares the travails and triumphs of being a newbie on the mat.

Subscribe to this blog

Email  Email

Via FeedBurner

Contributors

Kristin Shepherd Kristin Shepherd
Chiropractor, actor, and public speaker and the newest yogi on the block shares her discoveries.

More Yoga Journal Blogs

Yoga Buzz
The latest in yoga news

Active Yogi
Using yoga to perform better and stay injury-free

Beginner's Mind
Humbly learning yoga one lesson at a time

Challenge Pose
Take your practice to the next level with awe inspiring asana

Conscious Cook
Celebrating healthful cooking and beautiful food

Enlightened Motherhood
Gracefully juggling the joys of parenthood and yoga

Green Life
Take your practice off the mat with these easy green pointers and products

Top Five Tuesdays
Just for fun, find yoga in the small things

Yoga Diary
Reflections on yoga from our editors




Archives

« Lowering the Bar | Blog HomePage | Poses That Make You Crazy »

Holding my Mother

My mother and I were at the same family gathering on the weekend. Which is not a big deal if you come from someone else's family, but my mom and I only see each other once a year or so. And that's a huge improvement after two decades of down right difficult, then jaw-clenchingly tense, and now tentatively willing relationship. (There's a mouthful.)

She looks beautiful. One bionic hip, and two hearing aids (which she'd forgotten at home), but a soft, gentle face and a kind of high, croaky, older woman's voice. Once planted on the couch, she stayed put. I brought lunch to her while she watched her kids mingle and her grandkids fling themselves around the room with my dog.

She did yoga when I was a kid. That was my introduction to yoga, to meditation, to the whole idea of looking inward as a form of health care. It astounds me, writing this, when I consider how central this looking inward is to everything I believe now. It is the core of my work in health care, in theatre, in parenting, and in all relationships.

My mother doesn't do yoga any more.  She can't get down to a floor and has no local chair yoga classes. More than that, she's lost the oomph it would take to do yoga at home.

When we talk about it, she says, never, never stop doing yoga. It was the best thing ever, she says. People make their own choices. I know this.

And yet, if I had one wish today, it'd be that my mom could still do yoga. Or that somehow, I could do it for her, while holding her closer and closer to this croaky heart of mine, which, I hope, is growing more flexible over time.

Is there anyone you'd love to hold during your practice?

Thanks to yoga for looking inward, to my mom (love, love, love), and to you for the conversation.

Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, speaker, and workshop wonderwoman in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her at kristinshepherd.ca or on Facebook at Dr. Kristin Shepherd.

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://blogs.yogajournal.com/blognew/mt-tb.cgi/1365

Comments

Beautiful story, thanks for sharing:)

Beautiful story, thanks for sharing:)

If i could hold someone while doing Yoga, it would be our 2nd son. He has been through the most difficult year of his life so far, hes 26, his best friend choice to take her life. It stripped him of everything. He is very slowly building his life again, patience is everything here and I am sadly lacking in this area, but im learning. It has been a very difficult year for us as a family.
This young man has so much potential and abilty, would be very sad to see his talents go unused. But it has only been a year, well 9 days off a year, and patience is the key right now.
Maybe one day he will come to yoga with me again, but if not so be it, as long as hes around and doing the things that he will once again enjoy we will be happy for him

That is very moving. I wish my mother was still alive. We had a difficult relationship but we grew extremely close eventually. We were always close, but it was difficult. It's only after death the depth of the bond is truly felt.

I shall now hold my mother, my daughters and my sons mentally when I do yoga. Thank you for this.
Jill. xx

What a moving story. Thank you for sharing. I always dedicate my practice to someone in need and try to connect in with that person at points during my session. Sometimes by the end of the practice I will think of something that I want to do or say that has been inspired by my thoughts of that person. In this way maybe I hold love but also release it into the world. I hope so :-)

I love this blog. I have been siting on the fence in reference to going back to yoga. I know it will make me feel great again. Perhaps I would In this case I would embrace and hold ME.



Subscribe and
Get 2 Free Issues
+ 2 Free Gifts!

Give a Gift »

Join Yoga Journal's Benefits Plus

Join Yoga Journal's Benefits Plus Liability insurance and benefits to support teachers and studios.

Learn More »

Enter to Win Great Prizes!

Enter to Win Great Prizes! Enter the latest Yoga Journal sweepstakes for your chance to win fabulous prizes!

Enter Now »
Full Name:
Address 1:
Address 2:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Email (req):

If I like Yoga Journal and decide to continue, I'll pay just $16.95, and receive a full one-year subscription (9 issues in all), a 62% savings off the newsstand price! If for any reason I decide not to continue, I'll write "cancel" on the invoice and owe nothing.