Holding my Mother
My mother and I were at the same family gathering on the weekend. Which is not a big deal if you come from someone else's family, but my mom and I only see each other once a year or so. And that's a huge improvement after two decades of down right difficult, then jaw-clenchingly tense, and now tentatively willing relationship. (There's a mouthful.)
She looks beautiful. One bionic hip, and two hearing aids (which she'd forgotten at home), but a soft, gentle face and a kind of high, croaky, older woman's voice. Once planted on the couch, she stayed put. I brought lunch to her while she watched her kids mingle and her grandkids fling themselves around the room with my dog.
She did yoga when I was a kid. That was my introduction to yoga, to meditation, to the whole idea of looking inward as a form of health care. It astounds me, writing this, when I consider how central this looking inward is to everything I believe now. It is the core of my work in health care, in theatre, in parenting, and in all relationships.
My mother doesn't do yoga any more. She can't get down to a floor and has no local chair yoga classes. More than that, she's lost the oomph it would take to do yoga at home.
When we talk about it, she says, never, never stop doing yoga. It was the best thing ever, she says. People make their own choices. I know this.
And yet, if I had one wish today, it'd be that my mom could still do yoga. Or that somehow, I could do it for her, while holding her closer and closer to this croaky heart of mine, which, I hope, is growing more flexible over time.
Is there anyone you'd love to hold during your practice?
Thanks to yoga for looking inward, to my mom (love, love, love), and to you for the conversation.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, speaker, and workshop wonderwoman in North Bay, Ontario. Join her at kristinshepherd.ca or on Facebook at Dr. Kristin Shepherd.



wholefoodsmarket.com
Comments
Beautiful story, thanks for sharing:)
Posted by: norma | July 29, 2010 11:08 AM
Beautiful story, thanks for sharing:)
Posted by: belle amron | July 29, 2010 11:09 AM
If i could hold someone while doing Yoga, it would be our 2nd son. He has been through the most difficult year of his life so far, hes 26, his best friend choice to take her life. It stripped him of everything. He is very slowly building his life again, patience is everything here and I am sadly lacking in this area, but im learning. It has been a very difficult year for us as a family.
This young man has so much potential and abilty, would be very sad to see his talents go unused. But it has only been a year, well 9 days off a year, and patience is the key right now.
Maybe one day he will come to yoga with me again, but if not so be it, as long as hes around and doing the things that he will once again enjoy we will be happy for him
Posted by: Heather Mackenzie | July 29, 2010 12:11 PM
That is very moving. I wish my mother was still alive. We had a difficult relationship but we grew extremely close eventually. We were always close, but it was difficult. It's only after death the depth of the bond is truly felt.
I shall now hold my mother, my daughters and my sons mentally when I do yoga. Thank you for this.
Jill. xx
Posted by: jill alexander | July 30, 2010 1:06 AM
What a moving story. Thank you for sharing. I always dedicate my practice to someone in need and try to connect in with that person at points during my session. Sometimes by the end of the practice I will think of something that I want to do or say that has been inspired by my thoughts of that person. In this way maybe I hold love but also release it into the world. I hope so :-)
Posted by: Sarah Fraser | August 2, 2010 6:57 AM
I love this blog. I have been siting on the fence in reference to going back to yoga. I know it will make me feel great again. Perhaps I would In this case I would embrace and hold ME.
Posted by: Tanya Petraglia | August 12, 2010 4:18 AM